I have these colleagues of all ages that get together once a month for dinner.  We have done this for years.  When the group first started, we all worked at the same school.  We’d get together and piss and moan about work… and leave feeling great after much laughter and wine.  Over the years, a few of the members have retired.  This has really put a damper on the fun.  These dinners have taught me a lot about retired people:

- 5:30 is considered a late dinner
- When you’re meeting at 5:30, you are really expected to be there at 5:15 or they will obsess over your whereabouts.  5:25 just won’t cut it.
- Appetizers?  Dessert?  Drinks?  What are those??  We have got to get out of here before dark!
- Topics of conversation are limited to diseases and surgeries, random people we run into at random places, and deaths.
- If the server screws anything up, they can’t get over it.  “I can’t believe he gave me your salad and you got mine!”  “He can’t even keep salads straight!”  An hour later… “Does this LOOK like thousand island?”
- Even if their plates consist of 3 peas and a slice of bread, they obsess over having wayyyyy too much food.
- They LOVE separate checks (and servers just LOVE us as a result).
- They give the EXACT amount down to the penny… heaven forbid we round up and give the server another 12 cents!

I have a friend who is just as annoyed with their behavior (she’s the only other “young” one)… you can catch us making a lot of faces at each other throughout dinner.  You can’t help but laugh through the whole meal at this point.  I adore these ladies, but somebody shoot me when I start showing any of these characteristics!