“OMG Snarky… you need to get a Facebook page.”  “Why?”  “So I can add you to my friends.”  “I’m your friend already.”  “Well we can post messages to each other and stuff.”  “Don’t you have my e-mail address and phone number… and you know… the joy of me in person?”  “Well… ummmm…”  “You want other people to be able to read the ridiculous things we say to each other?”  “It’s fun!”  “Yeah…”

I just don’t understand the Facebook (and Myspace) craze.  I had a Myspace page a couple years ago for a few months and HATED it.  It was work.  Sure it was fun to make it all cute and stuff… but the chore of clicking on everyone’s pages to send the REQUIRED appropriate allotment of messages to each friend?  Work.  “Happy Hump Day!”  Ugh.  “It’s Thirsty Thursday!”  Shoot me.  And it IS a requirement… people get pissy if you don’t “comment them back”.  It’s like high school all over again.  Whoever can collect the most friends and appear to be the most popular, wins.  No, thanks.

The other aspect of Facebook that really bothers me (and I realize this makes me a bit of a freak)… is the fact that people can search your name and find you!  Yikes!  I don’t want my students or their parents or my colleagues to track me down and see stupid posts from my friends… or drunken pictures of me sticking my tongue out, making the “shocker” hand gesture.  (Wow… that was quite a night btw!)  No, thanks.

I also don’t want weirdos from my past (that I have successfully brushed off) to find me again.  I’ve got my close circle of friends… we’re tight like spandex.  I’ve got my outer circle of friends… we can go months without seeing each other, but it never feels that way when we get together.  I’ve been pretty good about trimming the fringe… those people whom I really don’t care for… and our conversations always consist of small talk and “catching up”.  I don’t feel the need to keep in touch with them.  I know it’s odd, but that’s how I am.  Facebook brings the fringe back.  No, thanks.

So, please pardon my hermitic (yes, that’s a word) behavior… and quit trying to drag me into virtual high school.