At lunchtime on Tuesday, I went to investigate a ruckus in the girls’ washroom across from my classroom. Apparently someone had done their business on the floor… a steaming pile of brownie batter type business. (Hope you weren’t eating! LOL) Now this doesn’t really shock me… nothing shocks me anymore at school… especially in the business department. I could dedicate an entire website to business stories.

Anyway… I locate a custodian and tell him about the mess. Toward the end of the day I went back in to make sure it got cleaned up. It literally looked like someone took a paper towel and scooped the business off the floor… that’s it… just one scoop… leaving a huge smear behind. I was disgusted, but I gave the custodian the benefit of the doubt. Maybe a kid scooped it up, so he didn’t really see the mess in the first place. (Although I don’t know how you wouldn’t see a crap smear on a beige floor.) At this point, the kids were gone for the day and I knew the night custodian would be mopping the floor shortly, so I dropped it.

Cut to Thursday noon. I ran into the girls’ washroom to wash my hands before parent conferences start. Out of the corner of my eye I saw… THE SMEAR! Two days later… the smear was still there. This means that our washroom floors (that are used by 200 students at least 2 times a day) had not been mopped in AT LEAST two days.

I retrieved the same custodian and told him the issue. He grumbled about me interrupting his lunch. I apologized for that, but explained that I didn’t think we wanted parents to find crap smeared on our washroom floor. He mumbled about it being the night custodian’s fault. I agreed that they should have mopped the floors, but pointed out that he was originally notified about the issue as well. He continued to grumble while he waddled down the hall to finally do his job.

I realize that this is probably one of the crappiest (ha ha) jobs in the world… and I wouldn’t fault anyone for forgetting to empty the pencil sharpener or not wiping down the white board or forgetting to replenish the paper towels one day. But to be so lazy and care so little about the health of the children… that I don’t get at all!

(Sidenote: My sister, who also teaches in my building, heard my story and said, “It smelled like crap all day in my room yesterday… I just thought someone had skids.” LOL)

Have I ever mentioned how much I adore recess time? It’s the greatest way to really observe my students and get to know them as people. This year’s students have very unique recess habits! Usually, they split into lots of small groups. This year’s bunch loves to play together… but they tend to split into one big group of girls and one big group of boys.

My girls are highly organized players. They all get together to jumprope (“Ice cream, ice cream, with a cherry on top… how many boyfriends do you got? OR “Barbershop, barbershop, how you like your hair cut? Short, long, medium, bald-headed…”), they act out scenes from High School Musical (complete with choreography), they play the game of the week (a game I teach everyone on Tuesdays), etc. They are very organized and so cute to watch!

The boys, however, just seem to wander about aimlessly chasing each other (or chasing the girls). Sometimes they throw the football around… but they haven’t figured out that someone needs to be on the other side to catch the ball… they just throw it and run after it. They’ve invented their own form of “rock, paper, scissors” by adding the element of fire. Apparently, fire beats all… but they haven’t figured out to throw fire every time to win. Sometimes they play kickball… but there are usually 4 in line to kick and 4 in line to pitch… nobody at the bases on in the field. The ONLY time they’re organized is when the girls grab them by the hand and drag them into whatever they are doing.

(And to clarify… I’m not making generalizations about boys and girls… this is merely how THIS class plays. Every group different.)

Needless to say, I spend our 20 minutes of recess together cracking up! The best time of my whole work day. =)

As a teacher, the debate I constantly find myself in the middle of regards No Child Left Behind. It’s a paradox – it, in fact, leaves a LOT of children behind!

If you are an early learner with average abilities, you are set! If you struggle or are bright… you are left behind. Once you turn 9 or 10… you are left behind. So they need to change the name to “No Average Child between the ages of 5-8 Left Behind”.

NCLB doesn’t take into account socio-economic issues, either. Apparently, children should all learn at the same rate, regardless of any other influences in their lives. That’s news to me. Forget all the research on the culture of poverty and its negative effects on learning… we’re not going to give you money to bring in programs you need to address it… we’re going to punish you instead and take money away! That’ll fix it. Hmmm… “No Average Middle Class Child between the ages of 5-8 Left Behind”

I find it convenient that the span of the NCLB program is 10 years. Just long enough to run into the next president’s term. If it happens to be a Republican (dear God… let’s hope not), they will swiftly change to a new initiative so we forget about NCLB and the fact that students haven’t made “adequate progress”. If it’s a Democrat (go Obama!), the Republicans will quickly point out that education did not meet the standard under the NEW administration (even though it’s Bush’s demon seed).

And the other thing that bothers me is people automatically assume that, because I’m a teacher, I oppose NCLB because I’m being held accountable. I’m all for accountability and being highly qualified… that doesn’t bother me one bit. (Umm… hello? Two master’s degrees, TYVM!) I’m not here to be George W.’s puppet. I don’t care about the tests. I care about the students and what they need… and that will always be my focus. Suck it, George.

You HAVE to visit this site to read a parody called “No Dentist Left Behind”… http://www.trelease-on-reading.com/no-dentist.html

WHO would send their 8 year-old on the BUS with two packages of CUPCAKES?!?! No, seriously, who?

I had a student show up with her birthday cupcakes this morning. *Most* parents would deliver the cupcakes. *Most* parents would send something travel-friendly if they couldn’t deliver the treats. Cookies, candy, fruit treats, beef jerky, assorted gourmet cheeses… any of these would be fine. But this child’s family decided to throw common sense out the window today (well maybe this happened years ago, not today) and send cupcakes on the bus. Sigh…

Now imagine what these things look like. They’ve all fallen out of their compartment to one side (since she carried them sideways in a grocery bag the whole way). The hot pink frosting has slid off each one and formed one giant frosting ball in the middle. The poor girl was so bummed when she saw what they looked like!

That’s when I have to go into cheerleader/counselor mode. “I’m sorry you’re sad, but they’ll still taste really good and they’ll be more fun to eat this way!” “Look how excited everyone is!” “I’m sorry your cupcakes are all jacked up!” “I’m sorry your mom is a moron!” LOL OK maybe not those last couple, but I was definitely thinking them.

I’m not complaining (too much). I’ve had worse birthday treat surprises in the past. I can’t tell you how many cakes have arrived with nothing to serve them with or on. Or all the homemade treats (which we aren’t allowed to serve). That’s really rough to tell a student that he can’t pass out his cookies because we’re afraid of how dirty his house is. LOL

But my ALL TIME FAVORITE birthday treat sent in by a parent is… (drum roll please)
RAW GROUND BEEF AND HAMBURGER BUNS! (cymbal crash)

Yes, that’s right. Mommy wanted me to fry up some burgers for the class. ROFL Come on… you CAN’T make this stuff up.

So all you parents out there… PLEASE send low maintenance treats to school! And for you teachers… I’m sending a little extra blessing out to you on those dreaded birthdays.