I took a nature walk with my students yesterday to collect leaves and seeds for science.  We did all kinds of sorting and investigating with our finds.  During recess today some students were looking at our leaves and stuff again.  I overheard one student say (in reference to some berries), “Don’t touch those!  They poison!”  Another student responded (in a very “duh, you’re an idiot” tone), “Ms. Kitten wouldn’t pick them if they poison!”  I had to laugh… it was too cute!

It was also an interesting situation, though.  One student was so rooted in common sense and the other relied completely on trust.  Which one would win out?  Well, the kids all looked at each other… shrugged… and touched the berries.  LOL

Trust is everything… any relationship without it is poison.

So I did it!  What’s this momentous occasion you wonder?  I finally went grocery shopping for the first time in September!  The first couple of weeks weren’t bad at all… I still had leftovers from the parents’ visit and lots of odds and ends in the freezer.  Then I really had to get creative.  By last week, I was pretty desperate.  I had eaten way too much take-out and a few too many dinners consisting entirely of pretzels and diet coke.  But yesterday I hit rock bottom…

I stopped at the drugstore on the way to work to grab something to take for lunch.  I spied something that looked edible on the bottom shelf of the fridge case.  I squatted down to check it out… but I suddenly found myself eye-to-eye with a big, nasty dill pickle.  This thing was practically yellow and swimming in a plastic pouch of rancid pickle essences and juices.  I gagged.  This isn’t something I’d ever want to be 6 inches away from… and especially not at 6:30 in the morning!  Mental note:  Must.  Buy.  Food.  Today.

That pickle scared me straight.  I will never be without food in the house again.  I plan on spending my whole life avoiding that pickle.  You know that thing will still be there when I die… mocking me from its juicy hyperbaric chamber.

I have these colleagues of all ages that get together once a month for dinner.  We have done this for years.  When the group first started, we all worked at the same school.  We’d get together and piss and moan about work… and leave feeling great after much laughter and wine.  Over the years, a few of the members have retired.  This has really put a damper on the fun.  These dinners have taught me a lot about retired people:

- 5:30 is considered a late dinner
- When you’re meeting at 5:30, you are really expected to be there at 5:15 or they will obsess over your whereabouts.  5:25 just won’t cut it.
- Appetizers?  Dessert?  Drinks?  What are those??  We have got to get out of here before dark!
- Topics of conversation are limited to diseases and surgeries, random people we run into at random places, and deaths.
- If the server screws anything up, they can’t get over it.  “I can’t believe he gave me your salad and you got mine!”  “He can’t even keep salads straight!”  An hour later… “Does this LOOK like thousand island?”
- Even if their plates consist of 3 peas and a slice of bread, they obsess over having wayyyyy too much food.
- They LOVE separate checks (and servers just LOVE us as a result).
- They give the EXACT amount down to the penny… heaven forbid we round up and give the server another 12 cents!

I have a friend who is just as annoyed with their behavior (she’s the only other “young” one)… you can catch us making a lot of faces at each other throughout dinner.  You can’t help but laugh through the whole meal at this point.  I adore these ladies, but somebody shoot me when I start showing any of these characteristics!

Wheeeeeeeee!  My new couch is here!  Nevermind that the delivery guys came 2 hours early… and when they called to say they’d be here in 10 minutes, I was still in bed.  I’m too excited to care about letting strangers in my house in my pj’s!

I called my parents to share my joy.  Unfortunately, Mom wasn’t home, so I got to talk to Dad.  He isn’t exactly the epitome of excitement over anything.  I told him I got the couch and his response was, “You had to take a day off of work?”  LOL  I ignored it and continued babbling about how cute it is.  Then he said, “Am I going to be able to stretch out and take a nap on this thing?”  Always so practical…

I’ve inspected every inch of it again, just to be safe.  It’s still in perfect condition.  So now if any pee stains turn up, I’ll know they’re my own.

My mom has always said that I have champagne taste but a beer budget.  As usual, she’s right.  This forces me to do a lot of outlet shopping… the eternal bargain hunter.  But I don’t want just ANY bargain… I want something truly amazing for next to nothing.

This summer, I decided it was time to replace my living room furniture (sofa, chairs, that sort of thing).  It’s all 10 years old and from IKEA.  Not that there’s anything wrong with IKEA, but 10 years is more than enough use out of IKEA furniture… and I’m ready for some grown up stuff anyway!

Well my champagne taste recently led me to my favorite furniture outlet stores:  Crate and Barrel, Carson’s, and Macy’s.  (If ONLY there was a Pottery Barn outlet nearby!)  My girlfriends came with me since girls always shop in packs… but mainly because I tend to agonize over decisions like this.  We didn’t find much until we got to Macy’s.  I fell in love with a sofa there.  It was PERFECT!  Everything about it was ideal… except one thing.  It was a sleeper!  I do NOT need any more reasons for people to decide to sleep over at my house.  The price wasn’t too great, either.  I was bummed, but we continued on.

We finally worked our way to the clearance area and THERE IT WAS!  The same couch!  We checked it out… not a sleeper!  OMG SOLD!  Then we looked at the price… $149!  Wait… did someone leave a zero off?  Nope… $149!  OMG SOLD!!!

We stood there in shock for a moment… nobody knew what to say.  Then reality set in.  “What’s wrong with it?” I asked to the group.  Everyone just shrugged.  The inspection began.  We were on our knees with every cushion pulled off… sniffing every inch of fabric… investigating for stains… feeling for tears and scratches. Nothing.  “Something HAS to be wrong with it!”  We couldn’t find a thing.

A sales guy happened to be wandering by.  “Excuse me… what’s wrong with this sofa?”  “We’re practically giving it away.”  “Right, what’s WRONG with it?”  “Are you complaining about a couch that’s practically free?”  “Did somebody pee on it?”  (Poppie peed on my couch!)  LOL  We went round and round with the sales dude… at least he had a sense of humor about it.  It turns out that it was delivered to someone, they changed their mind, and it was returned the next day, rendering it worthless to Macy’s.  This all opened the door for a  snarky little kitten like me to swoop in and buy it for 10% of it’s original price.  INSANE!  (Not that I’m complaining!)

Well, of course, after buying the couch I simply HAD to have some matching pieces.  So a trip to the real Macy’s was in order.  The furniture gods were smiling upon me once again… Macy’s was having a HUGE sale.  So I got a matching chair and ottoman and a the cutest accent chair ever!  All in all, I got an entire roomful of quality, grown-up furniture for about half of what it normally sells for.   Wooohooooo!

Champagne, anyone?