I am not a huge fan of going to the movies.  I can’t even tell you the last time I went to see one in the theater.  I remember Forrest Gump… and Titanic… and Blair Witch Project… oh my, has it been THAT long?  OK maybe not, but it’s been awhile.

Back in the day, I had roommates and several people who crashed with us all weekend long.  We saw a lot of movies then.  However, now that we’re all grown up, we don’t have the luxury of seeing each other every day.  When I get together with my friends now I don’t want to spend half of our time sitting in silence through a movie.  We usually have way too much to catch up on to waste time.  Unless you’re a huge movie buff, going to the movies is something you do with people you have little in common with or when things are stale (hellooooo date night).

Another downside to the movies is dealing with the general public.  You all know me well enough to realize I have no tolerance for less than stellar public behavior.  The talking, annoying laughs, smells, and the DISGUSTING chewing habits.  I can’t enjoy a movie through the slobbery popcorn chomps.  If I wanted to listen to that, I’d keep my $10 and put my face near my kitty’s bowls at dinner time.  Actually, she has better manners than most movie-goers.

And frankly, not a lot of cinemas serve beer.  Huge bummer.

That being said, my friends and I are venturing out to the movies this weekend!  We wanted to spend the whole day together, so there’s plenty of time for a movie.  We’re hitting a 10:30 am show to avoid people, too.  Very shrewd.  We still have the beer issue, but that will be rectified at lunch afterward.  Something tells me we’ll need a few after Hot Tub Time Machine.  (ROFL, I kid you not.)

A dark shadow has fallen upon the snarky kingdom.  I’m beyond depressed.  Is it the economy?  No.  Seasonal Affective Disorder?  I wish.  A plague of boils and locusts?  I could be so lucky.  What I have to share with you is much more apocalyptic than any of these.

MILLER HAS STOPPED PRODUCING ZIMA!   *Collapses*

OK… I know you’re thinking, “Wait… they were still making it?” And yes they were.  I haven’t had it in years, but it was always there on the beer shelf like an old favorite blanket.  It was comforting to know that my all time favorite beverage would always be there for me (even though it hasn’t been socially acceptable in a long time).  Sometimes I would stare at it longingly as I passed by… too embarrassed to buy it.  I was waiting for its comeback.

I have so many fond memories of Zima.  Road trips, nights out, nights in, smuggling 40 oz. Zima’s into the movies.  (ROFL… yes, they made 40′s.)  When it was new, everybody drank it… even boys!  It really was a great drink.., not as bitter and filling as beer… not as sweet and thick as other girly drinks.  “Zomething Different” the ads would affirm.  *Sigh*

This morning, an email was instantly circulated among my closest friends with the subject “OMG BAD NEWS”.  We will be buying every 6- pack of Zima we can get our hands on so that we can have a bon voyage party for Zima… to lay our dear friend to rest.  *Hears Taps playing in the background*

Tomorrow is the dreaded family birthday party for a one-year-old child… except it’s not even my family.  My friend always has these huge family parties for her kids… and then she invites her 5 single girlfriends, too.  No other friends… just us.  Talk about awkward!  The only good part is that I didn’t hear about it until yesterday… so I’ve only had a day and a half to dread it.  A friend of mine said, “Prepare for the huge party sub.”  Another responded, “A big sandwich, kool-aid, and a moon jumper… oh my!”  I really lead a glamorous life.  *winks*

My mom has always said that I have champagne taste but a beer budget.  As usual, she’s right.  This forces me to do a lot of outlet shopping… the eternal bargain hunter.  But I don’t want just ANY bargain… I want something truly amazing for next to nothing.

This summer, I decided it was time to replace my living room furniture (sofa, chairs, that sort of thing).  It’s all 10 years old and from IKEA.  Not that there’s anything wrong with IKEA, but 10 years is more than enough use out of IKEA furniture… and I’m ready for some grown up stuff anyway!

Well my champagne taste recently led me to my favorite furniture outlet stores:  Crate and Barrel, Carson’s, and Macy’s.  (If ONLY there was a Pottery Barn outlet nearby!)  My girlfriends came with me since girls always shop in packs… but mainly because I tend to agonize over decisions like this.  We didn’t find much until we got to Macy’s.  I fell in love with a sofa there.  It was PERFECT!  Everything about it was ideal… except one thing.  It was a sleeper!  I do NOT need any more reasons for people to decide to sleep over at my house.  The price wasn’t too great, either.  I was bummed, but we continued on.

We finally worked our way to the clearance area and THERE IT WAS!  The same couch!  We checked it out… not a sleeper!  OMG SOLD!  Then we looked at the price… $149!  Wait… did someone leave a zero off?  Nope… $149!  OMG SOLD!!!

We stood there in shock for a moment… nobody knew what to say.  Then reality set in.  “What’s wrong with it?” I asked to the group.  Everyone just shrugged.  The inspection began.  We were on our knees with every cushion pulled off… sniffing every inch of fabric… investigating for stains… feeling for tears and scratches. Nothing.  “Something HAS to be wrong with it!”  We couldn’t find a thing.

A sales guy happened to be wandering by.  “Excuse me… what’s wrong with this sofa?”  “We’re practically giving it away.”  “Right, what’s WRONG with it?”  “Are you complaining about a couch that’s practically free?”  “Did somebody pee on it?”  (Poppie peed on my couch!)  LOL  We went round and round with the sales dude… at least he had a sense of humor about it.  It turns out that it was delivered to someone, they changed their mind, and it was returned the next day, rendering it worthless to Macy’s.  This all opened the door for a  snarky little kitten like me to swoop in and buy it for 10% of it’s original price.  INSANE!  (Not that I’m complaining!)

Well, of course, after buying the couch I simply HAD to have some matching pieces.  So a trip to the real Macy’s was in order.  The furniture gods were smiling upon me once again… Macy’s was having a HUGE sale.  So I got a matching chair and ottoman and a the cutest accent chair ever!  All in all, I got an entire roomful of quality, grown-up furniture for about half of what it normally sells for.   Wooohooooo!

Champagne, anyone?

Gas for 6 hour drive to Ohio… $100

Purchases at outlet mall (Pottery Barn, Coach, etc.)… $750 (and a security call from Mastercard)

Dinner out… $150

Hotel room… $100

Cocktails for hotel room… $50

Drunken fall on a slippery bathroom floor (and earning the new nickname “Riblet”)… 2 cracked ribs

Road trip with the girls… priceless!