During a recent night out with the girls, I found myself listening to the strangest story in the history of the world.  Of course, I feel inclined to share the horror with you now.

A couple martinis into the night, Veronica* says, “Well, girls, I did it!”  (Oh, God… this could be anything.  *Braces herself.*)  “I told Harry* that if he wanted to do the thing he likes me to do, then he was going to have to shave!  I told him I was tired of getting poked in the eye!”  *Drinks spray in the air as we all choke on that last sip.*  Poked in the eye?  ROFL

Of course Harry couldn’t possibly imagine how he could do this himself, so she agreed to help.  Now you’re thinking, as I did, ok that’s kind of hot.  A little mutual shaving… bring it on.  Oh no, we assumed wrong… this was about as hot as surgery prep.  How can that be?  Well, I present you with Veronica & Harry’s Manscaping 101:

Step 1:  Have your man sit buck naked on your beige couch.  Forget about the skid marks you’ll live with for the rest of your life.
Step 2:  Turn on the Cubs game.  Yes, baseball.
Step 3:  Begin furiously trimming with a shaver and scissors.  Picture Edward Scissorhands trimming a bush into a deer shape.
Step 4:  Don’t want pubic hair all over your couch and carpet?  Hold a dish towel under the area as you work.
Step 5:  Sit back and envy your work.
Step 6:  Have your man get dressed and go to dinner at Chipotle.

I can’t get the scene out of my head… it keeps me up at night in terror.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to sit on her couch again… or really touch anything in her apartment… knowing what went down.   *Shudders*

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the oddballs.