Something happened this past Sunday that has really frightened me.

There I was minding my own business, when my smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors went off. This started panic mode for me (my neighbors had a fire that damaged my home a couple years ago)! I did everything I could think of to get them to stay off, but nothing worked. I was worried that maybe I did have some sort of carbon monoxide issue or maybe a smoldering fire in the attic. In a panic, I called my dad for advice. After he calmed me down a little, he told me to call the fire department to check things out. I did… and FOUR trucks came out to investigate. It turns out I have a faulty detector in my hallway, which triggered the whole system. So they told me what I needed to do, unhooked it, and went on their way.

So… that isn’t the frightening part. I left something out of the story. After I talked to my dad about the issue (remember I was panicking), I DID NOT call 911 immediately. Instead, I began to STRAIGHTEN UP THE HOUSE! WTF is wrong with me? I’m rearranging pillows on my couch and putting magazines away through the piercing alarms… while my house might be burning down? That’s messed up! I’m surprised I didn’t call and say, “911… hi, my smoke alarms are going off… could you send someone to check it out… but can you give me 20 minutes to straighten up first?” ROFL Seriously… disturbed.

I’ve been spending some time over the last several months re-evaluating my life and such. I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in the past… not crack-whore kind of bad, but bad enough to spark a pre-mid-life crisis of sorts. And when I think about my behavior on Sunday… I’m really bothered. When did keeping a neat house become more important than my safety? Why is appearance to others so important to me? Why isn’t keeping the house neat for ME more important than keeping it neat for others? It’s not like my house is ever messy… but I have this overwhelming urge to have an immaculate home when others are involved (thanks for that, Mom).

I’m wondering if I need aversion therapy. You know… invite my friends over… but not clean the house… just leave it as is.
*shivers*