I work with a bunch of children… and I don’t mean my students.

If you haven’t seen it… please watch Jesus Camp. Rent it… watch it on the net… whatever you have to do. It’s absolutely frightening. Borderline child abuse and scary look at America’s future…

Most of you know how much I detest Macs. I do not question whether they can do amazing things. My problem lies in the fact that you have to pay three times as much for a Mac as you would for a PC with comparable stats and features. You’re paying for the branding. Also, Mac assumes you are an idiot… but I won’t get into that… today.

Anyway… I’ve been stuck with Mac products for my entire career. My current computer (at work) is the iBook G4. It has a new annoying habit of refusing to start. Each day, I spend a little bit more time trying to get it to start up. First, I get the big black box that says “HA HA… try and restart me” or something like that. Then I restart. Deadzo. Then I restart. Deadzo. Then I restart and get the command prompt. I type in mac-boot and I get the sad Mac icon with the question mark (as if to say “are you talking to me?”). Restart… deadzo… restart… deadzo… restart… mean black box… etc. Eventually… after 10-20 minutes, everything pops up and the thing performs normally. Until today…

I spent over an hour in the mean black box/deadzo/command prompt loop. It REFUSED to start. What’s strange is that it started on the first try for the last two days. It was almost like this vindictive little thing saved up two days of energy to challenge me in an old-fashioned showdown today. After an hour of the loop… I finally unplugged it… picked it up… and gave it a good shake. I plugged everything back in… pressed that bratty white button… and POOF! It started right up! I WON! *blows on her smoking guns*

Something tells me it’s not over…

Conversation between my students and I during Social Studies today (we were discussing the job of president… what does the president do, where does the president live, etc.):

Me: Who knows the name of our current president?
Student A: Abraham Lincoln
Me: Good guess! Abraham Lincoln was one of our presidents a long time ago!
Student B: George Washington
Me: Another good guess! He was our very first president, but that was a long time ago, too! Our president’s first name IS George, though. Anyone else have a guess?
Student C: George Clooney
Me: (trying so hard not to giggle) George Clooney! He’s a famous movie star, but not our president.
Student D: I know! I know!
Me: What do you think?
Student D: George Bush!
Me: Good job! Our president’s name is George W. Bush. (writes it on the board) Hmmm… do you know the name of the first lady?
Student E: Martha Washington
Me: She was our FIRST first lady. She was George Washington’s wife.
Student F: Martha Bush?
Me: Her last name is Bush… you’re close!
Student G: Mrs. Bush!

ROFL Kids are hilarious.

At lunchtime on Tuesday, I went to investigate a ruckus in the girls’ washroom across from my classroom. Apparently someone had done their business on the floor… a steaming pile of brownie batter type business. (Hope you weren’t eating! LOL) Now this doesn’t really shock me… nothing shocks me anymore at school… especially in the business department. I could dedicate an entire website to business stories.

Anyway… I locate a custodian and tell him about the mess. Toward the end of the day I went back in to make sure it got cleaned up. It literally looked like someone took a paper towel and scooped the business off the floor… that’s it… just one scoop… leaving a huge smear behind. I was disgusted, but I gave the custodian the benefit of the doubt. Maybe a kid scooped it up, so he didn’t really see the mess in the first place. (Although I don’t know how you wouldn’t see a crap smear on a beige floor.) At this point, the kids were gone for the day and I knew the night custodian would be mopping the floor shortly, so I dropped it.

Cut to Thursday noon. I ran into the girls’ washroom to wash my hands before parent conferences start. Out of the corner of my eye I saw… THE SMEAR! Two days later… the smear was still there. This means that our washroom floors (that are used by 200 students at least 2 times a day) had not been mopped in AT LEAST two days.

I retrieved the same custodian and told him the issue. He grumbled about me interrupting his lunch. I apologized for that, but explained that I didn’t think we wanted parents to find crap smeared on our washroom floor. He mumbled about it being the night custodian’s fault. I agreed that they should have mopped the floors, but pointed out that he was originally notified about the issue as well. He continued to grumble while he waddled down the hall to finally do his job.

I realize that this is probably one of the crappiest (ha ha) jobs in the world… and I wouldn’t fault anyone for forgetting to empty the pencil sharpener or not wiping down the white board or forgetting to replenish the paper towels one day. But to be so lazy and care so little about the health of the children… that I don’t get at all!

(Sidenote: My sister, who also teaches in my building, heard my story and said, “It smelled like crap all day in my room yesterday… I just thought someone had skids.” LOL)

Something happened this past Sunday that has really frightened me.

There I was minding my own business, when my smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors went off. This started panic mode for me (my neighbors had a fire that damaged my home a couple years ago)! I did everything I could think of to get them to stay off, but nothing worked. I was worried that maybe I did have some sort of carbon monoxide issue or maybe a smoldering fire in the attic. In a panic, I called my dad for advice. After he calmed me down a little, he told me to call the fire department to check things out. I did… and FOUR trucks came out to investigate. It turns out I have a faulty detector in my hallway, which triggered the whole system. So they told me what I needed to do, unhooked it, and went on their way.

So… that isn’t the frightening part. I left something out of the story. After I talked to my dad about the issue (remember I was panicking), I DID NOT call 911 immediately. Instead, I began to STRAIGHTEN UP THE HOUSE! WTF is wrong with me? I’m rearranging pillows on my couch and putting magazines away through the piercing alarms… while my house might be burning down? That’s messed up! I’m surprised I didn’t call and say, “911… hi, my smoke alarms are going off… could you send someone to check it out… but can you give me 20 minutes to straighten up first?” ROFL Seriously… disturbed.

I’ve been spending some time over the last several months re-evaluating my life and such. I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in the past… not crack-whore kind of bad, but bad enough to spark a pre-mid-life crisis of sorts. And when I think about my behavior on Sunday… I’m really bothered. When did keeping a neat house become more important than my safety? Why is appearance to others so important to me? Why isn’t keeping the house neat for ME more important than keeping it neat for others? It’s not like my house is ever messy… but I have this overwhelming urge to have an immaculate home when others are involved (thanks for that, Mom).

I’m wondering if I need aversion therapy. You know… invite my friends over… but not clean the house… just leave it as is.
*shivers*

OK, all you Second Lifers out there… I thought I’d share a fantastic new place with you. Friend and designer Kwamey Pinion has opened his store SOREAL with a few treats (while we wait for those deliciously realistic skins he’s developing). So far, he has released a highly detailed set of track jackets and sculptie sunglasses.

The track jackets come in a million colors and designs… and in male and female versions. The sculptie attachments for the arms, neck, and waist are scripted so you can easily adjust the size WITHOUT screwing it up. Each jacket comes with four versions that include two color options in a plain and worded version. LOVE it!

If you join the SOREAL group, Kwamey has released a couple of fun freebies, including a sculptie winter scarf that I adore. Check it out!

Have I ever mentioned how much I adore recess time? It’s the greatest way to really observe my students and get to know them as people. This year’s students have very unique recess habits! Usually, they split into lots of small groups. This year’s bunch loves to play together… but they tend to split into one big group of girls and one big group of boys.

My girls are highly organized players. They all get together to jumprope (“Ice cream, ice cream, with a cherry on top… how many boyfriends do you got? OR “Barbershop, barbershop, how you like your hair cut? Short, long, medium, bald-headed…”), they act out scenes from High School Musical (complete with choreography), they play the game of the week (a game I teach everyone on Tuesdays), etc. They are very organized and so cute to watch!

The boys, however, just seem to wander about aimlessly chasing each other (or chasing the girls). Sometimes they throw the football around… but they haven’t figured out that someone needs to be on the other side to catch the ball… they just throw it and run after it. They’ve invented their own form of “rock, paper, scissors” by adding the element of fire. Apparently, fire beats all… but they haven’t figured out to throw fire every time to win. Sometimes they play kickball… but there are usually 4 in line to kick and 4 in line to pitch… nobody at the bases on in the field. The ONLY time they’re organized is when the girls grab them by the hand and drag them into whatever they are doing.

(And to clarify… I’m not making generalizations about boys and girls… this is merely how THIS class plays. Every group different.)

Needless to say, I spend our 20 minutes of recess together cracking up! The best time of my whole work day. =)

As a teacher, the debate I constantly find myself in the middle of regards No Child Left Behind. It’s a paradox - it, in fact, leaves a LOT of children behind!

If you are an early learner with average abilities, you are set! If you struggle or are bright… you are left behind. Once you turn 9 or 10… you are left behind. So they need to change the name to “No Average Child between the ages of 5-8 Left Behind”.

NCLB doesn’t take into account socio-economic issues, either. Apparently, children should all learn at the same rate, regardless of any other influences in their lives. That’s news to me. Forget all the research on the culture of poverty and its negative effects on learning… we’re not going to give you money to bring in programs you need to address it… we’re going to punish you instead and take money away! That’ll fix it. Hmmm… “No Average Middle Class Child between the ages of 5-8 Left Behind”

I find it convenient that the span of the NCLB program is 10 years. Just long enough to run into the next president’s term. If it happens to be a Republican (dear God… let’s hope not), they will swiftly change to a new initiative so we forget about NCLB and the fact that students haven’t made “adequate progress”. If it’s a Democrat (go Obama!), the Republicans will quickly point out that education did not meet the standard under the NEW administration (even though it’s Bush’s demon seed).

And the other thing that bothers me is people automatically assume that, because I’m a teacher, I oppose NCLB because I’m being held accountable. I’m all for accountability and being highly qualified… that doesn’t bother me one bit. (Umm… hello? Two master’s degrees, TYVM!) I’m not here to be George W.’s puppet. I don’t care about the tests. I care about the students and what they need… and that will always be my focus. Suck it, George.

You HAVE to visit this site to read a parody called “No Dentist Left Behind”… http://www.trelease-on-reading.com/no-dentist.html

When I’m sick I usually have an abundance of bad dreams and don’t sleep very well as a result.  This morning either my alarm or my kitty (can’t remember which) woke me up right in the middle of a terrible dream.  

All I can recall about the dream was that my love interest and I were fighting for our lives, and he was dying after trying to defend me (hmmm… WoW related? rofl).  Anyway… I woke up just as I was dragging him off somewhere to get help, and I just can’t shake the icky feeling.  It obviously wasn’t a realistic dream, but it shook me. 

I tried to close my eyes for a few minutes and think of happy things.  I fixed some nice healthy oatmeal for breakfast.  I listened to my favorite tunes while I got ready for work… and all the way here.  No luck.  

Now I’m starting my day at work, and I feel broken down already.  My body feels like it actually went through the battle… my spirit is low.  This is not a good way to start my day… especially since I already feel like this place is a war zone at times.  (Not the students, but the adults who work here.)

Why can’t I ever be dreaming of kittens and tulips when the alarm goes off?